Shattered Images of Normality

It’s getting sort of absurd how often I research and google information about sexual violence. It makes me really really tired. 

To fuck.

To yell.

To scream.

To drink excessively. 

To not have to do this paper.

To finish this paper without feeling like an ass because it’s terrible. Right. Now.

To sleep - definitely to sleep.

To have a real break, instead of skipping classes to go to meetings, I’d like to skip class and watch Buffy. Season 6, I need some doom and gloom whineyness that ends with the world saved and some awkward conversations. 

To have a meaningful, consensual, trusting connection with someone. Then we can fuck.

To fight.

To call out inappropriate people. This includes “The” anarchists and rude comedians (RUDE)…

To turn off the voices of fatphobic assholes. The more people hate on fat chicks the less I want to lose weight.

To walk around in only a bra and high-wasted skirt. All the time.

Mostly though, I want to have a nice consensual fucking. That would be fantastic. 

http://adipositivity.my-expressions.com/index.html

Not to objectify, but I wish I had an ass like this woman.

http://bitchmagazine.org/post/sex-and-the-fat-girl-fat-porn

personally, I am afraid of being liked for being fat. I love my body…  though sometimes I hate my body and sometimes I cry and sometimes I have to lift rolls that I really would rather wish I didn’t have to, but I think all of that is normal and healthy, as long as it doesn’t overwhelm my whole being.

Nonetheless, the idea of someone wanting me to get bigger for their pleasure, of someone getting off on my massive muffin tops… it gives me the willies. I think as long as it’s consensual, etc, that’s absolutely wonderful! but it may not be for me. I think it’s the same as a foot fetish - it’s just one of my sexual boundaries.

However, I think this article has made me think a tad more on that. We’ll see how my thoughts change as I look into the idea more. Maybe someday I will find someone who likes me for my rolls and of course likes me for my personality and we’ll see if I can consent to any play in that way. :)

“Charlia, are you sufficely lubricated to engage in protected sexual intercourse with me?”